February 25th (2.18.15), Ash Wednesday

Joel 2: 12-18, Psalm 51: 3-4, 5-6ab, 12-13, 14 and 17, 2 Corinthians 5: 20 -- 6:2, Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-18

In the first reading, the Prophet Joel proclaims that this is the time to individually and communally come together to not only be mindful of our offenses against the Lord, but to also fast and be repentant.

What struck me immediately was the second sentence where the Lord says, “Return to me with all your heart.” Though baptized Catholic, I was raised in a home without faith. I lived my life into adulthood rarely thinking of God. Then, in August of 2000, my fifteen year old daughter was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I felt helpless, and didn’t know were to turn. Somehow I ended up in a women’s CRHP retreat. It was there that I awoke to the loving presence of God in my life. It was the beginning of my faith journey.

I let the Holy Spirit guide me and said, “Yes”, to every invitation that God gave me. I joined retreats, classes and committees in our parish. A change began to come over me. I felt peaceful, confident, and happy. My heart was so full, I thought it would burst. God was the center of my life. Since then I have strayed from my faith a few times, but never so much as in the past couple of years. I began to drift away and fill myself with other things that I felt were important. A couple of months ago, I found myself feeling, irritable, unhappy and depressed. My heart was empty. People began to call me and ask me where I’d been, they said they hadn’t seen me around St. Raymond’s for awhile. I made up excuses, but in my heart I knew what I had to do. I prayed to God and asked for his forgiveness. I promised to surrender and asked for the strength to follow his will for me. A couple of days later, I received a letter from St. Raymond’s asking me if I’d be willing to write a reflection for the one of the daily scripture readings during Lent.

When I read the first reading, I began to cry. I knew that it was meant for me to reflect on. God was answering my prayer and asking me to return to him. Since then, I have helped with the recent CRHP weekend and gone back to Mass. My heart is beginning to fill again, and I know that if I keep my life God centered, and continue to say, “Yes,” I will once again feel the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life.

Though we may stray many times on our faith journeys, it is always comforting to know that God always forgives us, gives us yet another chance and welcomes us back with his unconditional and steadfast love.

Debbie Petitt, wife, mother of four & grandmother of one